Orion's Custard Soft Cup Cake

Orion's Custard Soft Cup Cake

I'm drooling just looking at this picture

The Attraction:
To simply put it, they were on sale at the Asian grocer and I always wanted to try them, but was reluctant to shell out $5 a box for them. For a discounted $2.50 a box, I was "inspired" to finally give these a shot. Oc I'm imagining something like a Twinkie, but with a custard-flavored filling. Oooh, can't wait to try one!

The Review
Orion, perhaps best known for their Choco Pie (which is very much like an American Moon Pie) product, also offers up these baked cakes. I think they are the US equivalent to Hostess or Drake's. I practically grew up eating things like Yodels and Donettes, so I was ready to try these custard filled cup cakes. I have a weakness for baked goods. Granted the fresher, the better, but these certainly qualify as a baked good. Like some of the recent snacks I've been reviewing, each cup cake comes individually wrapped. I'm all for maintaining freshness as much as possible. When I open the packaging, I see that the outside of the cup cake has a nice yellowish tint like the famed Twinkie I had imagined it could taste like. I take a first nibble at it; it's a bit drier than I imagined. Instead of a moist Twinkie, it's a bit more reminiscent of a drier cornbread, but not quite as course. It's not terribly sweet, which is a good thing, cause it'll probably be kicked up a notch when I hit the custard. Several more nibbles in and I still don't taste any custard. Hmm, Maybe it's on the other side. I look at the cup cake and realize I've actually already bit into some of the custard, but just didn't notice it. Unless you look at the cup cake, you can't tell! That's not a good sign. The amount of custard in the cup cake itself doesn't look remotely like what is advertised on the packaging. OK, in fairness, not many products look exactly as they do on the packaging, but come on...I couldn't even taste the bloody thing. Actually, I did taste something.....RUM! WTF?! Yes, Rum. It wasn't til I looked at the packaging later that I realized that it says that it contains alcohol. Is this stuff geared towards kids? I'm all kinds of confused by this product.

One step closer to the party soon to be in my mouth

The Sweet:
The baked confection itself tastes like a drier piece of cornbread. I do like cornbread, so that's a plus and maybe the only thing really going for it.

There's a custard explosion waiting for me inside, I just know it!

The Bitter:
Custard! Where the eff is it? Based on the photo below, you can barely see the custard that is injected into each cup cake. Worse yet, you can't taste it. Even consistency-wise, you can't tell it's in there. That's either how little custard they put in or how dry the product is that it soaks up all the custard out of the filling.

Person#1: "Knock, knock"
Person#2: "Who there?"
Person#1: "Custard"
Person#2: "Custard who?"
Person#1: "I don't know either, cause it ain't in this damn cup cake!"

Oh, and rum in a product that seems to be aimed for a general audience. It's not a huge amount where you are going to get a buzz, but can you imagine the backlash if Hostess or Drake's released a product like this? There would be heck to pay!

"Where's the beef?"

Conclusion:
This custard cup cake fails to deliver anything that resembles custard, in both flavor and consistency. So much so that I'm debating on whether I should contact some consumer affair group about false advertising or reaching out to the FBI to file a missing custard report.

You'd be better off getting a piece of cornbread somewhere. Save your money and you'll be much more pleased with Orion's offering of Choco Pies.

Video of the Week

This week, our friends over at Vice have posted an interesting piece on a women who enjoys cooking with roadkill. She does a pretty good job of making it as appealing as possible, but in the end, I still kept saying to myself that it's a squirrel and roadkill. (Ask me again if I would eat it if I've gone 2 days without food and I'm certain my response would be very different). Warning: There are some graphic images that some viewers may find offensive.

"Oh, poor delicious little squirrel"